parent-ing.
Posted by priti_jamels at 05:29 PM on July 17, 2005.
lately, my parents are drivin` me crazy.
i don't know if they're actin` cool or just actin` like plain old parents.
mama and papsi already arrived last sunday after their three-week vacation sa US territory.
i can say that they had fun especially papsi.
papsi's so
bugbog with his work that i know he needed this vacation badly.
as we, mama and i, were checkin` out their
pasalubongs for us, i saw 2 message shirts that my papsi brought.
one shirt says: husband for sale, no returns - no refunds.
the other shirt says: my kids think i'm a bank.
obviously, my papsi can feel the love that we, his family, are givin` him.
2 shirts says it all.
haha, hands down to my father.
at 49, he still has that funny side of him.
no problem could ever take away the fun side.. or should i say the sarcasm of my papsi.
..
and yesterday mornin`.
my mama was wearin` make-up with earrings and watch.
i asked her
kung saan siya pupunta.
she said,
dito. matutulog.
what's up with that?
headache.
headache.
they're givin` me headaches.
period.
painful.
Posted by priti_jamels at 11:51 PM on July 29, 2005.
i actually don't feel well lately.
emotionally.
you know, this may be the time of one's life (my life) wherein you feel painful and useless.
i should actually be happy and excited `cause apparently, august's suppose to be my month.
yet i feel the exact opposite.
..
have you ever felt that your effort wasn't recognized at all?
na every time you try to do something, like bring all together your loved ones, they don't notice it or
wala silang paki?
i am already tired of all the possible excuses one could ever give.
i try to bring my friends together once in awhile(?) `cause
i am happy when i am with them.
i can be me when i am with them.
yet, they don't notice that.
they don't notice the effort.
my effort to make us close
kahit na malalayo kami sa isa't isa.
i feel that they don't care about our friendship.
i feel that they're taking advantage of our friendship.
i feel that they don't value our friendship anymore.
and i loathe that feeling.
i am afraid of that feeling.
i am afraid to lose them `cause
i've already found a part of me with them.
and i am proud of that.
hindi ako pwede magreklamo.
`cause i don't control their lives.
we all change.
yet one can't control their feelings too.
i feel stupid, dumb and lonely.
i am so tired of doing all the things.
i want to cry.
and i know that is the only thing i could do now.
`cause i can't tell them my feelings.
`cause my love for them is deeper than my hatred.
period.